Wow do you know what we did on Wednesday? Well we were at a SCHOOL CAMP! Have you ever been to a school camp before?
The first thing we did was top team. Wow that was a really hard game. After that it was time for cooking. We went to got to the tuck shop to wait. We waited for Miss Jarman to come and tell us what we are cooking.
My favorite thing at camp was kayaking. It was really, but my friend want to go with me because she as never been before. I really want to go by my self, but instead I went with her. I got a turn by my self and it was cool.
At night time we got into our Pj's. We were like a school full of Pj's. We watched the move and then went to bed.
Hey Grace, your story is so cool. Did you sleep well? Next time check then recheck.
ReplyDeleteFrom Jouan
You certainly did a lot of fantastic activities at camp didn't you.
ReplyDeleteGrace you now know that you want to start off your writing with a hook to entice your readers in, but I would like to see you try and use another hook instead of Wow? Don't be scared to give it a go.
Also take your time and write in more detail about one main idea instead of moving onto the next idea to quickly. Its great to hear about everything you did, but its even better when you can use the topic words to describe each thing in more detail.