Thursday, March 1, 2012


Wow have you ever been to a picnic before? Well I have, the whole school is going to a picnic. Everyone had excitement in them. Walking in a line of convoy of a chaotic crazy children, were really impatient.

When we got to the beach we sat down and listen to Mr Burt. When he was talking I was waiting for Mr Burt to finish then we rushed of where to put our bags.

I instantaneous to volley ball like a speedy car. There were lots of sports to do. It was like a sports festival.

Volley ball was just a success, lots of kids wanted to play, so Mrs M split them into teams. After that I thought that we should go down to the beach. Then we saw Mr Marks, I went to go and tell him if it was morning tea, and it was.

Next we asked Mr Marks if he wanted to play with us. Have you ever play this game called force-back? Well this is how you play. You kick the ball and if you catch the ball on a full you can run 10 steps forwards, you can play with to teams. Me, Aldora, Hope, Mele, Annliz, Ana, Charlee and Mr Marks.

During the game it was time to have lunch but after having lunch it was time to go . Full Of disappointment all the kids getting there bags and helping there teachers, we lined up and went back to school. Me and Charlee were way ahead of everyone. I hope we could go again.


  1. Hi grace
    I thorght your writing was really good.
    I like the way you included all your friands as well

  2. You have done a good job of describing your fun day at the school picnic.

    I like that you have tried to use our topic words we came up with in the brainstorm, to make your writing more interesting for your audience. Just be careful not to use to much of this in one sentence in case it makes it confusing.

    I think it will be very important for you to read your writing out aloud so that you can hear what you have written and to see if it makes sense. It is a great way of finding those bits that you can fix and make better.

    Well done Grace I can see the effort you are putting in to make your writing better every time.


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