Of I went on to the muddy track sprinting to the finish line. While running this big mud puddle came up, I went right through it, yuck that's squishy. Running through the track I passed some of the ten years old.
When I was running my shoe came off. Running back to get it I saw my friend running up to me so I ran with one shoe on. As well I slipped on the muddy footpath.
While I was running I felt so lazily and tired. My breathing changed. I went from breathing slow to huffing and puffing. Eventually I started to jog all the way there.
Jogging through the gates I saw Mr Jacobsen. Going to the finish line I heard Mr Jacobsen saying here comes the first eleven year old girl. Wow! I flew to the finish line, I was so happy that I came first.
Well done on coming first Grace, even with only one shoe on.
ReplyDeleteCan you please see if you can rework your sentence beginnings please. Some of them do not work. Try and re read it yourself and if you are still unsure then come and see me for help.
Hi Grace I love how you have used great words like huffing and puffing!keep up the great work
ReplyDeleteI grace,
ReplyDeletegreat work there. That is a funny story, running with one shoe.I thought you did a wonderful job, but unfortunaly some of your sentences didn't quite make sense, like While running this big mud puddle came up, I went right through it, yuck that's squishy. keep up the great work.
from Aldora
Wow,
ReplyDeleteGrace this is a good story about running you must have been very tired at the end, here's a question for you how did you come first when you had butterflies I could of never pulled that off in time but keep up the good work Grace.